You Got This: How To Reclaim The Holidays When Family Starts Asking Questions

As a high school senior embarking on a huge transition to college, you are likely to become the center of attention for at least one holiday gathering this season — whether it’s a family member asking you to plan out the next ten years of your life right now, or an uncle bombarding you with how the university with his favorite football team is the only one you should consider.

I remember attending a parent workshop when my children were young about “creating peaceful holidays for yourself and your children.” And it got me thinking about how the tips I learned during this session can translate to the college acceptance anxiety that begins to ramp up around the holidays when early admission decision notifications are sent.

So, if you’re dreading heading to grandma’s in a few weeks because you don’t know what to say when the inevitable “what are your college plans?” question comes up, here are some strategies for how to answer. You got this.

Remember: it’s your application

You might be asking yourself, “How do I answer the questions of 'where did you apply?’ or 'why haven’t you heard yet?’”

First, where you apply and where you get accepted is your story. And because it's your story, you decide when to share this information and how to share it. One strategy could be to deflect the question by stating, “The last few months were really stressful with college application stuff, so I have made a commitment to myself this holiday season just to focus on the holidays. But, you will definitely know where I’m headed when I figure it out.”

Or, you may want to share the excitement of your application and acceptance process. Either way, it is your story to tell. 

You don’t need to have it all figured out

The “where did you apply?” and “where did you get accepted?” questions can easily transition to “what are you going to study?” during family discussions. Which can then quickly turn into life plans.

As a college admissions professional, I listen to people discuss such plans all of the time, and I often hear “my son is going to graduate in three years,” or “my daughter is going to pursue this advanced degree at this university once she completes her undergrad degree.” It can be stressful for high school students to hear their future prescribed for them.

But, as an admissions professional, I also know that many, many, many first-year students change their major, some more than once.

My advice to you if you’re in this situation: encourage others and yourself to slow down. You do not need to have it all figured out.

You do not need to know what exact area you are going to major in, where you will work, or where you will get that advanced degree. You haven’t even started college yet! That first year in college is the time to explore. 

What you do on campus is far more important than where you go

I have repeated this statement year after year over my two-decade-long career in admissions —what you do in college is far more important than where you will go. The real work starts once you enroll in college.

How you engage with your studies and college campus is a far better indicator of your potential for success.

Again, what you do in college is far more important than where you go. Try that line out this holiday season.

With a few strategies and game plans in place, you can reclaim the story of your college application journey and not let inquisitive family members derail your holiday fun.

From all of us at Ross, have a safe and happy holiday season!